I'm amazed looking back at the twists and turns my life has taken, and I'm sure you feel the same about your own journey, too. Well into my twenties I could always find the positive in whatever happened; at times that simply meant acknowledging the fact that feeling pain was a part of life. Many times since then my resilience has been overshadowed and I've felt overwhelmed. It's taken a conscious effort to reconnect with the gratitude of simply being (thank you Oprah for introducing us to San Ban Breathnach who reminded all of us of the power of being grateful).
In July a dear friend lost his fight to an illness he had been battling for almost three years; Saying goodbye was not made any easier because his leaving was expected. As much as we might prepare ourselves for the final goodbyes, I don't think we're ever really ready when they come. Sitting here now, it's close to impossible to think there will be no more long phone calls, sharing news with each other or talking about plans for the future, no more visits to see him and his family or sitting down together around their family table. No more teasing, no more new memories. I cherish the lifetime of happy moments knowing him has given me. From our first meeting as preteens and on through the months and years when we were unable to catch up in person; my failed attempt at playing cupid for him (he knew how to find love for himself and it's an absolute understatement to say he made a very fine job he made of it). Life won't be the same without you, my friend, but I will always be grateful that I got to pass so much of mine knowing you.
There's no doubt that dying is a part of living but these days our television and computer screens seem constantly filled with images and stories of heartbreaking tragedy and sorrow, hate and destruction. In July five police officers were targeted by a sniper during a peaceful protest in Dallas, Texas in response to two fatal shootings by police elsewhere in the United States, of two black men a few days earlier: Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge and Philando Castile in Minnesota. During the memorial service for his colleagues, Dallas Police Chief David Brown read the words of the Stevie Wonder song I'll be Loving You Always, and they perfectly reflect my thoughts and feelings now:
Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky (always)
Until the ocean covers every mountain high (always)
Until the dolphin flies and parrots live at sea (always)
Until we dream of life and life becomes a dream
Until the day is night and night becomes the day
Until the trees and seas up, up and fly away
Until the day that eight by eight by eight is four
Until the day that is the day that is no more
Until the day the earth starts turning right to left
Until the earth just for the sun denies itself
Until dear Mother Natures says her work is through
I'll be loving you
My friend, whom I knew for the longest time among all my friends, was, among other things, a husband, son, father, brother, nephew, uncle, a coach and a colleague. He was loved by many and will be deeply missed by all. My heart remains with his family.
BUT THERE IS SOMETHING WE CAN DO
Among proposed reforms to France's healthcare laws, changes regarding organ donation are expected to be made. France currently operates under a system of assumed consent but the reforms state that people will need to register NOT to be on the organ donor list in order to circumvent this practice. If the changes are accepted, the earliest the law could come into effect is January 2017.
While organ donation would not have helped my friend, we all know that this can be a life-saving procedure. In researching this I noted more than once (and relating to populations in different countries) that, when asked, the majority of people state they would be willing to have their organs used after their passing. However, when the time comes, in the shock and grief of the moment, the deceased's family will often withhold consent (a decision which is regretted 40% of the time according to one poll). So, if you have considered doing this and you're willing but have not yet made your wishes known to your loved ones or if you need to register for organ donation in the country in which you live, please do so. While most of us are not called upon to save others during our lifetime, we can do this as a final gesture after we've gone.
To read more about this go to:
and for information about other healthcare reforms in France:
